We often wrongly assume that our partner has the same thoughts and assumptions as us. Loving somebody also means being open and vulnerable with your feelings, thoughts and wishes.
Make it easy for your partner to have empathy - be specific.
Statements such as "please be more respectful" or "please be more considerate" or "can you please stop belittling me" leave a lot of room for interpretation.
Give detailed examples of moments you felt happy, connected or loved. Be specific when highlighting what you appreciate and value about your partner's behaviour, instead of complaining in vague terms.
Let me give you some examples:
- I love when you gently kiss me on the forehead. That makes me feel really safe.
- Dancing with you to xy singer helps me forget about everything else. Let's do it more often.
- I really appreciate that you asked for my opinion before buying xy item.
- Thanks for having my back and helping your mum understand that my xy project is proper work and not just a hobby.
It should become tangible for your partner what you are longing for and which moments mean a lot to you. Try to refer back to positive examples and ask your partner to continue or repeat the same behaviour. Your partner being reminded about moments that you cherish and feeling appreciated is much more effective than you nagging.
#opencommunication #connection #couplecoaching #healthyrelationship
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